i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
