Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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