And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
