Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
