Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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