hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
