I just pynch a tree in the face
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
