don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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