Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
