Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
