as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
