i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
