i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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