And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize