I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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