You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
