i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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