my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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