I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
