The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
