Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize