I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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