based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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