so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
is wine microwaveable?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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