Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
