I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
