Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
