Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize