Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
