I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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