Christians are straight up FREAKS
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
