so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
