You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
