I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
