at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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