i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
