I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
