were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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