the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize