"it" just moved
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He did a backflip because drugs
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
