Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I want her autograph on my taint
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize