Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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