I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
