just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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