she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can't turn off my feet"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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