So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
