Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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