I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
