Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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