There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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