im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
