the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
