I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
