:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize