I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
