weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
