I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
vagina is talking i cant
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize