I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't turn off my feet"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I could fuck to npr.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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