the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
