Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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