you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
