We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
