yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize