I'm gonna have a badass scar
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
