i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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