Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
