We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
