pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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