are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
