i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
