Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
