Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
