Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
