she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
