I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
