went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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