My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
No stitches, just platelets and will power
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize